The first Onlife of the New Year is late by a day. I know, not exactly the best precedent to set, but cut me some slack -- I was on visiting family until late last night, and didn't have access to a computer during my stay (much less on the plane ride back). You may not know this, but certain parts of Miami, FL are closer in resemblance to the third world than you would think. But enough about that. I'm back, and my first order of business is to drop some Onlife on you.

It's funny how being off of the Internet for two weeks gives you a heightened insight into the more interesting things that go on there. If the previous line sounded to you like a load of bull, then you've called my bluff. The fact is, not being on the Internet has done nothing but estrange me to many of my friends, and keep me out of the MMO loop. Thankfully, not much seems to have happened (I hope). If it has, and the paltry six hours I've given myself to catch up haven't brought it to my attention, then feel free to point, laugh, and tell me I suck at my job. If you do that, though, you should also feel obligated to correct me, and point me in the direction of the tidbit in question. Thanks in advance.

The walls just might have ears...

Anyway, at dinner the other night, one of my friends threw at me a stack of paper that contained what is perhaps the funniest stuff I've seen in a minute. Basically, it was a print out of a website put up by some people bent on completely humiliating a certain unfortunate EverQuest II player. Just like these things tend to be, it was completely malicious and drawn out, and hilarious at the same time. In a nutshell, the site's creator sneaked into the house of the mark in question, and took screenshots of him cybering (simulating sexual acts by means of chat and emotes, if you don't know the term) with a female avatar. It gets better: the person he was cybering with was actually a guildmate of the guy who took the pics. It was a complete set up, and their sole intent was to publicly humiliate their mark. Apparently, there was some longstanding beef between him and the group of players who busted him, and since the guy seems to have a reputation as something of a lech, this seemed like a good way to pwn him. And pwn him they did. If I may say so (not that I condone this kind of thing, of course), it was the type of pwning that merits a big phat OMFGBBQ.

See for yourself: http://www.thedauntless.com/cecil.html. The whole saga is laid out there pretty straight up, complete with quotes. It's bananas. If you want to see it all in its entirety, peep the forum post where this guy was originally outed. If you're anything me, then reading these kinds of forum threads are the best entertainment possible. Last I checked, the thread was around 36 pages long. I was peeing my pants halfway through the first.